Decisions made in the aftermath of separation can have a huge impact

The collaborative approach to relationship breakdown and divorce focusses on the needs of each party, rather than making decisions based purely on strict legal entitlements or emotions.

A collaboration divorce works best when it is interdisciplinary. In this setting, parties have access to a team that includes lawyers but also other neutral professionals who have specific skills, experience and training to address the inevitable non-legal issues that often require the most urgent attention because they are causing the biggest obstacles to progress being able to be achieved – for example, it is normal for communication between parties to be one of the first ‘casualties’ of a separation. Communication difficulties can often exacerbate tensions and lead to misunderstandings and an inability to have meaningfully discussed issues because parties have lost the ability to hear one another…

An interdisciplinary collaborative team typically includes a financial advisor (to ensure that there is a full understanding of the family finances, budgeting and affordability of decisions being contemplated) and a psychologist (to facilitate discussions between the parties that often need to occur because until emotions have been heard, acknowledged and understood, reaching agreements may not be possible). These non-legal collaborative team members are neutral which means they can work with each party separately and/or together – whatever is needed.

In my experience, families coming to terms with a separation and the need to sort out their financial settlement can also benefit from having access to a child psychologist (aka child expert) who understands the collaborative setting (and who has also seen first-hand what happens to children whose parents have ended up at Family Court…). The child expert in a collaborative setting is also a neutral – which means they can work with each parent separately and/or together – to help them discuss and reach joint decisions about parenting arrangements that are developmentally appropriate and sustainable. The child expert can also meet with the children (i.e. a child inclusive process) when the parents decide it is helpful for the children’s ‘voices’ to be factored into their decision-making.

The role of the lawyer within an interdisciplinary collaborative team necessitates a very different mindset compared to litigation. It requires them to work and think very differently about their role, for example: a collaborative divorce lawyer needs to be able to challenge their client to be open to weigh-up ideas and thoughts that may be different to what their client may have expected; the lawyer needs to be available and open to other professional team members, so that everyone in the team is on the same page and aware of the ‘temperature’ of the case at any given time; each collaborative lawyer needs to be able to model respectful and courteous behaviour to the other lawyer and their client; and be open to encouraging their respective client to reach agreements that, in the context of all known information about the case, are fair for all family members, not only for the ‘now’ but for the foreseeable future.